Best rant ever!Just stumbled upon this Mario Lopez/game show host-hating post from our dear friends in Birdmonster and I LOVE IT!
One thing about America is this: if you're famous, you're never out of work. An actor who was as best a has-been and at worst a never-was, Joey Lawrence, for example, whose entire emotional range is varying eyebrow maneuvers whilst "whoa"ing, can now, in late 2006, not only get onto a reality show where he learns to dance, but can also go on a multi-city tour, selling out arenas with other paragons of thespian virtue (Mario Lopez), and foxtrot his way to the further outskirts of "that guy" fame and glory.
Of course, if you aren't attractive or spry enough to land yourself on a didactic reality show, you can always host a second-tier game show. Since you're a bottom-rung also-ran, the producers will feel it necessary to make the contestants a parade of spastically energetic mongoloids who would rather going into fits of epileptic yelping than actually try to figure out the game.
Of course, if you aren't bald enough or poor enough to be given Emcee duties on "Deal or No Deal" or "Identity," you can always be the sibling of another famous person. Or you can marry another famous person, impregnate them with your magical famous mansperm (as opposed to the highly underrated womensperm, of course), and sell the pictures to US Weekly. Or you can have a reality show about your family that exposes your hitherto imagined lunacy. Or you can box other once-famous sit-com bit players.
Or you can do something. Maybe the problem with pop culture right now is that we reward ex-stars for being has-beens....
Read the rest of the entry here!
MP3: Birdmonster - All The Holes In The Walls
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